1434 days ago
Guess what? After I finished the 3000 letters message, I erased it by mistake! Here I go again.
Today I was waiting for a phonecall (since Monday, actually). It didn't come, last Saturday an "ex" said we should meet, but...I don't know why people say they would do things without doing them. Just hearing themselves saying it, makes them feel as if it was done I guess. I thought I was over this ooold love story, and we could be friends here in Montreal, but his carelessness sadens me. He calls once a month or less, pretending he cares. I never call him, pretending I don't care. Are we even?
Anyhow, three friends of mine sent me three great gifts:
1) My super smart long distance friend Cristina, wrote to me saying the poems I sent her are from the heart and she was touched reading them. She told me I actually write poetry. Knowing how sensitive, intelligent and cultured she is, I felt like getting a prize. Because she's right, the ultimate sense of poetry is to move people, no matter what the critics say.
2) Sniezana, from Split, Croatia, sent me another message, describing a dream she had: "I had a dream last night that I was in the church, the most beautiful one that I've ever seen. This church is on the top of tiny little island with the view on the sea all around and with stone graveyard in front of it. Church itself is small, built with white stone, like a lighthouse on this island. And I found God in communication among the nature, me, islanders, the dead, the sea, the stone, the cypress and the sky. The God was made of us all together, never so real, so clear, so close, so there and nowhere else at that precise moment..." This is so much in line with what I felt in the Caribbean, or the Danube Delta, with what I'm reading (Parintele Staniloae) and thinking, that I felt as if Sniezana was here and I was hugging her. We actually spent only September 2001 on the same ship, but managed to keep in touch, looking at the world through the same window.
3) Getting home around midnight I found a white thick paper envelope, containing a CD from my trio of friends, jazz players from New Zealand: Manta Ray - Steve, Tim and Pieter. Steve sent it to me from San Diego, California, being still on some ship. We were on the same floating colourful plastic tincan MacDonalds, called Carnival cruiseship, for 3 months in summer 2003 and from April until July 2004. The jazz on the CD has a strong Latin vibe and #13 bears my name: Antoaneta. It is a strong playful, dynamic tune, changing rythms, very Latin, I can actually see myself as a song listening to it. It brought tears to my eyes. It is the most beautiful gift somebody can get...and there are no money in any bank to buy this.
See, to some people it may seem my day was a dull one: home - metro - work - metro - home. But those three gifts filled my mind with so many thoughts, my heart with so many feelings, that my day got rich