Thursday, February 12, 2009

September 25, 05 - Am I too much?

1235 days ago

Being told I am, by several guys that never met each other but whose presence made a difference at some point in my life (one is just a great friend)...I felt today sometimes I'm too much even for myself. Sometimes I'm having a hard time trying to manage all my thoughts and feelings.

I have too many worlds inside, and their combination with the real one makes life hard to bear.

I saw a Czech movie today: City of the Sun - the bittersweet kind, I came out smiling by myself - then I thought how close I am to this Eastern world, it's a special kind of laughing and crying way of living that makes us go through all troubles. I suddenly missed home.

Then I remembered how emotionally close I feel to Latin-American films, and how challenged I am by the sophisticated ideas vehiculated in the Western European movies, and I started wondering where do I belong.

This way I started looking inside, to all this worlds that try to live in peace inside me and I saw them filling me up to the point where it was hard to bear with it.

Then I understood what my friends and lovers meant...if I can't put up with it, how could they do it?

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