1238 days ago
"Myself I don't know if this I that I am exposing to you, really exists or is barely an aesthetical fake concept that I have about myself. Yes, this is how it is. I live aesthetically through someone else. I sculpted my life like a statue made of a material stranger to my own self. Sometimes I don't recognize myself, that external I became, and up to this point I used my self conscience in an artistical manner..." - Fernando Pessoa
The Book of Restlessness - my actual lecture, makes me think how many times I felt like in a movie, looking at myself acting and talking. Knowing what do I really need to do and not finding the force - inertia. Bloody oblomovism, in Eastern Europe we receive things so passively sometimes, we've been touched by the Orient contemplative spirit. Building inner worlds and getting lost in their contemplation, up to the point when we forget to live life. My perception of myself and how the others see me will never give a correct image of my true self - all distorted mirrors. Shit! I had so many thoughts in my mind a few hours earlier and they vanished before I got home. Should get a recorder.
Put some cooking cream in my feta cheese omlet and it came out delicious and absolutely presentable.