1242 days ago
Both my parents are part of what and who I am. Getting to know my father when I was little, and find out things about my grandparents and background, meant to know where I'm coming from. With my good and bad sides.
I don't remember his approval being more important to me than anyone else's approval. I needed any kind of recognition from anyone. I probably didn't do anything ever just to make my parents proud of me. I didn't worry about it to much, what mattered was to be myself. And if eventually they liked it - much better. But now I feel like doing things that would have made him proud of me - which he was anyway, I heard from many people.
It happens both my parents liked my free spirit, because they both have it themselves. We became good friends beyond the blood bonds. And with my father this happened just during the last few years, when I was a lot away anyay. And now all I have left is in my genes. Trying to discover him via my own self.
Meanwhile I noticed I'm bored of just working and having fun...I need to feel more useful than this, until I find the a real job. So I'm looking into volunteering.
Looking for a sense in life is an everyday matter to me anyway, I guess existentialism is my philosophy. And enjoy the day from time to time