246 days ago
Well, after coming back from Italy on May 30th all that followed were marriage preparations, on my side house cleaning actually. I only managed to stick a book launch in between.
Then the civil ceremony followed on Friday morning and a home buffet lunch, my sister was radiant and I cried a little, especially seeing her father getting emotional. On Friday a friend of mine came from Italy and I went to the airport to wait for him and show him a little around town, as it was his first visit ever. We tried to have dinner but by the time we found a place that had its kitchen open we were fed up and tired already. We got unpleasant service here, which is quite sad for such a pretty place and made a stop on the National Theatre terrace - La Motoare, which is almost historical by now.
I've just read that due to the revamping renovation of the National Theatre this terrace is living its last summer. Bucharest is devastated by changes right now actually, the historical centre is exposing all its tubes and pipes along the eviscerated streets, next to brand new cafes and bistros. The University underground passage is smelly and looks like after war remains, there are no more shops, only grey ruins. Besides prices are similar to the ones in Canada and Western Europe, meanwhile incomes did not get there yet.
Saturday started with me playing the guide to Old Bucharest and the Romanian section of the National Art Museum, which is my favourite, next to the open air Peasant Museum. Then it was THE DAY - church and party, my sister was stressing out, also due to rain possibilities, which became real, but during a transitory moment, as we were preparing for the church. I was very glad to see my old Parisian friend, Philippe, made it for the ceremony. I stressed out too, running around the place pinning the traditional flowers onto lapels, blouses and straps, making sure I'm not hurting anyone but myself. When I was done most of the saying was done too and as most people stand in the back I'll have to watch the DVD to see the expression on my sister's face.
We even made it to the park for photographs, my dear old Carol I Park, where I played and climbed trees so many times during my childhood.
The restaurant followed, the Scientists' House (Casa Oamenilor de Stiinta), an absolutely amazing Belle Epoque building, with a typical Romanian wedding orchestra, I enjoyed the cafe concert and folkloric parts most of all, we got to dance like crazy at some points. The food was decent, I got better and I got worse in my life, maybe a bit too bland for my cosmopolitan taste (nothing beats Italian or Thai food anyway). I was exhausted so I left at about 3am, I think it finished around 4. I was happy to see my sister and my mother in the best possible mood.
On Sunday my long-term long-distance friend left (one day earlier than previewed, after approximately one day and a half in Bucharest) and I suddenly got to put things into perspective, only to realize that this kind of friendship is something I could never put up with, no matter how much nervous energy I consume. I realized that although he's kind and gentle and probably cares for me in his own way he's unable to draw a line and decide what kind of friendship this is, how close or how far apart can we come. He's moody, restless, anxious, almost neurotic, which tensed my nerves as if they were steel strings every time we met. I didn't understand and after such a long time I decided I don't even want to understand any more, although I feel good around him. It looks like he's doing his best to spoil it, while he's stating at all times that he respects me and cares for me a lot.
When we first met, in 2000, I felt he was bringing up the best in me. Now it's like he's trying to bend my ego down to a break. My self-esteem runs low and I decided I can't afford it any more, not at this stage of my life. Sad? Yes I am, I care for people and I treasure old times friends, he's a brilliant, brave and honest person and probably a good friend to others, but somehow we suffer a negative transformation when we get together, there's an urge coming from inside that I cannot define to behave in a way that finally drew us apart. Like some emotions die when they come into light (it reminds me of the nice Gremlins when they got touched by water and became monsters). I don't want to hear from him any more, the beautiful memories I had of us are fading and letting place to bitterness. I told him that's the end of it, if he understood the reasons or not it's just another detail.