Why people call themselves unhappy or happy? What's this elusive happiness? If only we could understand it's a fake, hollow word, it doesn't exist.
We think we would be happy if...and then a long list follows, including material, sentimental and spiritual conditions. And then because one of them is not fulfilled, we are not...HAPPY. We think we have all the rights to feel miserable because of lack of this and that. Because we take happiness as a long lasting state, but life itself is constantly changing, so there's no state of permanence.
I wonder who invented this concept - the unattainable perfection. Instead of striving for serenity, peace of mind, contentment, we strive fot the impossible and make ourselves - UNHAPPY, because we think there is more in the bag for us, but we have to have it all, at the same time, until the end of our life. (HAPPY END? )
I don't think we are here to be happy, we are here to give a sense to our life, and then we will feel fulfilled.
So I'm trying to make up my mind and expel this word from my vocabulary and imagination. Fill myself up with joy for what I have: interesting studies, comfortable job, caring friends, a fantastic family (my younger siblings are growing into beautiful persons as adults - smart, honest, kind, active).
I'm very excited about my master thesis subject: Murga uruguaya, the more I read about this social form of art, the more I want to learn. So I'm planning to go to Montevideo/Uruguay and spend a longer time there in 2008. My professor - Carmen Rico de Sotelo is an extraordinary gifted woman - with warmth, intelligence and an open-mind.
Through my studies I found descriptions of modern capitalist societies, whose vision is constant progress, oriented exclusively towards future (past is a curiosity for museums) confronted with the fundamentalist, traditional organizations, that cling to the past. They all ignore present, except groups of people, here and there, that live too much in the present, with hedonistic tendencies - life is for pleasure. It's hard to find a balance between the different dimensions of time.
I'm enjoying a light present, sustained by a rich, eventful past, looking towards a bright future. I guess I forget sometimes and get depressed, but this is part of the game too.
N.B. Something like happiness - Title of a Czech movie I saw last year - Stesti(by Bohdan Slama).